FLOTUS and Jetsam

Carla Bruni: Michelle Obama's Life is "Hell"

Michelle Obama thinks being America’s First Lady is ‘hell’, Carla Bruni reveals today in a wildly indiscreet new book.

Miss Bruni reveals that Mrs Obama replied when asked about her position as the U.S. president’s wife: ‘Don’t ask! It’s hell. I can’t stand it!’

The Secret Service has acronyms for those under their protection -- the President of the United States is POTUS, though I would argue that they should re-term Barry Soetoro PUTZ. His lovely wife is FLOTUS, for First Lady of the United States. Except now, evidently she is having winner's remorse. Michelle "can't stand" the massive strain of being the First Lady anymore. All the vacations and the stress caused by her appearances to tell people what they should not eat have taken a toll on the poor woman.

I feel so sorry for her. It must be terrible to be the wife of an alleged illegal alien who was swept into the White House by Middle Eastern money, an idiot American electorate and the sycophantic, corporate-controlled media, and then be asked to give so much of herself. We should all feel sorry for poor Mrs. Obama, or Mrs. Soetoro, or whatever her proper legal name is.

She has to do so much work, and the fact that she has to perform all of her duties as FLOTUS leaves her so little time to enjoy the little things in life. Sure, she has her garden and moved her mother in with the family and redecorated the interior of her Red House to hers and Barry's bad taste, but such fun things are too few and far between. We should all be grateful that Michelle used something on the order of half a million dollars to fly her friends to Spain and stimulate the Spanish economy. Because this helped, if only for a very short while, to relieve the unfair and tremendous pressure she is under.

This woman is shameful. She has been given the chance of a lifetime to make a difference for the American people on whatever issues she cares about. She eats the best food, has the best medical care and security of anyone in the world, along with her daughters and husband, she flies around the world and appears on the national news every time she speaks... But still this is not enough for Mrs. Soetorobama. America still owes her and Barack more. We ordinary Americans are still asking too much, taking too much from her, sapping her lifeforce like some kind of evil, vampiric monsters. If she only knew how terrible life as the First Lady would be, she never would have let Barry run.

In one sense I can genuinely empathize, even though overall I find her feelings painfully arrogant and selfish -- she probably never thought that her husband stood any sort of chance at becoming president. At best Michelle probably thought that Barry's run would be a great chance to rile up the "African-American" community, because after losing to Hillary or one of the other freedom-hating but white Democrats, the two of them could line up with Hijackson and Sharktongue and scream about the racism of Americans. The Soetorobamas were probably as surprised as anyone when, one by one, the ancillary candidates dropped out, leaving only Hillary versus "Obama."

And then when Hillary conceded the nomination to her husband, after the bizarre, secret meeting in which it was decided that she would drop out in return for funds to cover her campaign expenses and the position as Secretary of State, should "Obama" win, Michelle's heart must have sunk. But not to worry, because John McShame was still in the lead for the general election. Then the economy started to collapse, Barry started closing the gap because of his slick appearances and debate performances, and all of sudden her heart must have sunk when she saw the first polling indicating that McCain might lose out.

How terrible it must have felt for Michelle to go through those awful months before the election, wondering whether her worst nightmare of actually being forced to live in the White House for four or eight years would materialize. And on that awful day in November 2008 when the returns came in... I can't imagine the poor woman's pain and anguish. And we selfish Americans have been forcing her to perform all of her duties as First Lady ever since then. Oh, the agony. Michelle must feel like she was transported back to the 1830s and is being forced to work as a slave on a plantation. We should all thank her for all of the toil she endures -- she thanklessly slaves away every day, flying here and there, speaking to this group and that, eating this flavor of ice cream and the other, just like a 21st century Mother Teresa.

Poor FLOTUS must feel like flotsam, one definition of which is "miscellaneous or unimportant material." That's what we evil slave masters, the American people, think of her, surely. Michelle works so very hard for us but we do not appreciate her. We just crack the whip and make her take another vacation or hold another dance party in the Red House. We should be ashamed of ourselves for demanding so much from the poor woman. And her husband must feel like jetsam, material purposely discarded from a vessel to lighten it -- "Barack Obama" has been tossed aside by most of the Democrats running tight races. They don't want to feature him in their own campaign appearances, and they will not even admit for having voted for his wonderful legislation like the health scare deform bill or the bankster bailouts.

It takes a special kind of woman to endure all the abuse that Michelle does as First Lady. One day, the evil population of this country will realize how racist we are, what a burden we placed on her, her husband and their innocent children by electing Barry as president. And then we will issue an official apology for putting her under all the stress we have. How the brave lady keeps going I will never know. Bravo, Michelle!