Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Just Eat It!

U.N.: Eat Insects Instead of Meat to Save Planet

The UN is considering strategies to cut levels of meat consumption worldwide as part of its commitment to stamp out famine and cut global warming.

And it claims livestock, such as cows and pigs, requires too much space and fodder to be an energy-efficient source of food for the everexpanding population. Ultimately, it argues, there’s simply not enough land for us all to eat roast beef.

Mealworms are a good beginner’s insect - he says they’re a bit like ‘the crunchy bits at the bottom of a bag of popcorn’ - although he concedes that ‘it definitely helps
if you don’t look’.

It doesn't matter what you find tasty, the U.N. will tell you what to eat. Because you, an evil emitter of Deadly Carbon Dioxide, are killing the planet. Every time you exhale you are committing a crime, and every time you deign to pass gas, or, God forbid, defecate you are dropping chemical weapons and atomic bombs upon the poor, innocent Mother Gaia, the Earth which tries so hard to nurture you.

But you are killing Her with you metabolism, which must be lowered. So the eugenicist United Abomination has a plan -- guilt-trip you into consuming food with lower carbon "footprints." I don't know what the tracks of insect legs are termed, that is why I use "footprints" in quotes. Head-thorax-abdomen is what I learned of insect physiology in school.

The United Nations are a useless group of poker buddies from their irrepresentative nations, who get together several times a year in order to compare bedtime stories of child rape, torture and murder. Why the media would give them any credibility is questionable, except that the answer is obvious. The U.N.'s controllers own the media.

This is how they collectively get away with suggesting that you eat giant ants from BoogaBoogaLand in order to harm Mother Earth less. Screw you, United Ablations. I shall eat that which I wish to eat, and you will continue to fade into the status of non-entity. Your time as the de facto authority of world policy is over. Enjoy the remaining boy-slaves until we patriots put you all in prison.


  1. I guess they never came across a book about Chinese farming practices called "Farmers of Forty Centuries"?

    It's full of genuine shit from cover to cover, unlike the plausibly deniable variety we're fed every day... ;-)